As children we have a driving need to ask 'why'. We ask because we have no idea how things work. Science,technology, magic, you name it, we want to know what it is. Why do we breath? Why do we feel pain? Why is the grass green? Why do birds sing? Why do flowers have different colors? And this questioning of Why leads us to How. How does a cloud get made? How does the sun shine? How does a flower grow? But always, even when we become older, we return to why. We understand how clouds are made, what drives the ocean tides (that would be the pull of the moon, for those of you who didn't know!), how cells duplicate, and we even know where babies come from! But WHY?
You hear this word from the broken voice of your friend after their significant other has left them, from the scientist trying to figure out a complex equation, and from the many voices of those around the world who lose their loved ones. Why? It's three letters, but it can cause the most discomfort. As children we don't know that this word will become something we shy away from. We avoid it like the plague because that little word digs deep--and makes you dig deep even when you don't want to. So we lock the word up and don't question things because as adults, deep down, we know the answers and are afraid to hear the reply to our 'why'.
I admit freely to doing this. In fact, I didn't realize I had been shying away from the deeper meaning of my 'why' questions until faced with--and reminded of---it today. For a while, even before the undoing of my perceptions of myself, I had felt lost. I had lost a connection with Spirit, with the things around me. I couldn't hear the voice of my intuition, or feel the beating of the earth when I went barefoot on the ground. I had lost the voice of my guides, and my excitement for my religion. And then that little word popped up. Why? I shied away from it. I didn't want to know why. I was frustrated, sad, lonely, and because I couldn't hear spirit, I gave up trying to understand why. 'I'll get to it later', I told myself. 'Later' is an evil four letter word that should be up there with other unmentionables. I'm sure you know the words of which I speak.
But today while looking through a book I flipped to a page. And as my guides often do, they led me strait to what I needed to do. 'Ask yourself Why', the book stated. 'Only then can you find your problem, release it, and heal'. If only I could hear such words so clearly given to me in my head! Honestly, I think my guides just have a sense of humor. The words jumped out from the page almost as quickly as the title of the chapter, and I knew as I read the big bold text that I needed to heed the words in the book--they were things that I had been avoiding.
After reading the chapter it reminded me of several things--not least of which was the fact that I had forgotten that often times my guides spoke to me through literal written word. And because of the whole ten pages that I read, I realized with sudden clarity that my guides had been giving me advice and speaking to me consistently for more than a month now. I just hadn't realized it because I was avoiding the question Why. It doesn't have to be a scary word, but often times it is. This is because the deeper reason is often something we don't want to face.
By asking Why we open ourselves up to truths we might not want to face. But we have to. The only way to really be at peace with ourselves is to realize that asking Why isn't bad--it helps become more aware. While the book I read mostly contains things that don't really offer me much that I already know, reading that one chapter armed me with ideas I had forgotten, and irony of ironies, it said 'your guides will often try to reach you through the written word'. My guides really DO have a penchant for being blunt don't they? Cheeky buggers! Here I was wondering why I couldn't hear them when they had been time and again trying to reach me. Teach me. Remind me. So I being my quest now. Its internal and therefore is free--but its not much of a vacation.
I realize it won't be easy. I still get uncomfortable when I start to ask myself that three letter word. However I can see the light through the murky questions, and all I need to do is ask Why to get nearer to a better and shinier new me. Hopefully a me I can stand tall and be proud of. And be wiser for the wear.
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