Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Singing the Single Blues
Being older as a single girl is weird. No one really tells you that, or maybe they're lying to you! But it's weird. In your late twenties your starting to really think about family--having one, running away from one, making one--even if you don't want to, or thought it wasn't something you'd think about. You do. And then you (I mean me, of course) start to freak out a tiny bit. But I digress. Loneliness was in the title of this post, and if you didn't catch that, you might want to skip this post--especially if you're looking for a fluffy feel good romance. THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR THAT! So grab a tequila shot or ten and join me in my loneliness, it'll make me feel less alone!
I'm a young woman in her late 20's and I've run into the problem of being Single. Yes readers, that's with a capital S. I know there are lots of women my age who don't have boyfriends, or who have broken up recently and feel like there's no hope of finding the right guy. Or maybe you're busy getting your career started, or maybe you're just barely making ends meat and so you don't have time to think about dating or being in a relationship. Sadly, I'm still working on my career, but my career choice (being a writer) can actually be--and often is--a very lonely one. I don't do well with lonely. I think most the of the time I write just so I don't feel alone, or remember that I'm alone.
But it's that time in life when your friends magically start getting married, have kids, own a house, get major career advances, and start serious relationships that are about to become marriage proposals. And there you are, wondering why the fairy godmother skipped you over. You're the Cinderella who didn't get the chores done in time and suddenly there's no more princes or fairy godmothers available! All of a sudden you're surrounded by people who are happy and settling (or jetting off) into new things. Things that require a significant other. So what do you do? Who do you turn to? Your friends might tell you to stop being so picky, or to just focus on your career and the right guy will come along. But what if you're me?
You know what I do all day? I write. I sit with music playing in my ears and my fingers flying along a key board. When I'm not doing that I'm working with children. I don't work in any field that requires adult interaction. Let alone any flirty adult interactions. And the older I get the more I start to look up from my computer and think to myself 'I'm not normal. There has to be something wrong with me. Why can't I find a guy? Why can't I stop being so picky?' I often think there has to be something wrong with me. Half the time I fall back onto my looks. I know, its shallow and vapid. But men are highly visual creatures. Perhaps I'm not alluring enough. Hmmm. Maybe if I wore a squid on my head I might be more appealing? I also live in Southern California, where men are mostly trained to fall for the girl with the most fashion sense and thinner bodies. I could prattle one about that--but I'm not going to because 'looks' is another topic completely.
I also have this weird little quirk. I completely tie my 'desirability' with my 'work'. Do I make enough money? No. Do I live on my own or have a successful writing career right now? No. Ergo, I'm not attractive as a mate. At least not to the guys that I want to attract. I feel like a failure at life half the time, mostly due to lack of being where most of my other friends are. Busy graduating schools, busy launching their careers, busy being moms to awesome kids. And I'm.....not. I'm alone. I have friends, but on the whole, at the end of the day, when I flip open my computer and pour myself a glass of wine I realize I'm completely alone. No one to give me a thought except myself. And then I write. Because that's all I have.
I wish I could get rid of singing the Single Blues. I wish I were in a place where men found girls like me attractive (honestly, I know lots of single girls say that about where they live. That guys don't like girls with looks like they have, but seriously, come to Southern California. It;s a whoooooole different ball game my friends!). But I don't. And I don't have the means to travel the world as I should be doing to run into a guy. Instead I'm stuck working with two ADHD boys, one of which who loves to defy me at every turn or polite inquiry. My chances of finding a guy where I live are very VERY slim. And my job choice makes it even worse.
So how do I do it? How do I get a guy? I have no idea. I'm sure some of it is to finally succeed in writing--then I won't feel like such a failure at life. Its nice to say to a guy "Please come to my place, I can cook!" because you actually have money to pay for groceries on a regular basis. But I can't, and I'm SURE that makes me look absolutely useless to men. I wish I could say "I don't need a man to make my life complete!" but actually....I do. I need a partner! I need the jelly to my peanut butter, the salsa to my guacamole! But it seems to me, that fate is not in my cards.
OH! And as a final note of self pity and curiosity, I have to ask a question! You know that expression "love will come when you least expect it"? Am I the only person on this whole marble of a planet that says "I give up! I'm not looking anymore!" and THINK you mean it, but then find out that really, deep down, you don't. If you genuinely expect it, even when you try not to, how on earth are you ever supposed find some one? Does the universe say "She was just kidding, she's still hoping. So lets keep her single"? Because I'm beginning to feel like it's playing one big joke on me.
I think I need another shot or ten! Bar keep, I need a tequila shot and a squid, STAT!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
2014: The New Year means New Habits!......Right???
I seem to have forgotten to write here! Poor little blog, it tries SO hard and what does it get? A handful of dried crackers and stale water. I'm sorry blog, I'll try to be a bit better about updating here, since life seems to dictate that I should! So lets see, a new update for a new year.....bullet point time--because who wants to read five paragraphs!?
-Realized my job was not going well
-Had a nervous breakdown at 1 in the morning in car (not my proudest moment)
-Completed three short stories, submitted to a contest
-Started (and working on) a new novel! Er, Novella? Book? Thing? I'll have pages and words, that's all I can promise.
-In search of a title for my short story (that will eventually become a trilogy) that can't be submitted to another contest until I figure that out. Contest due Jan. 31. Bleh!
-Had to say goodbye to a friend too soon and desperately wished they were here. Or that I was there...(But Sweden is so cold......)
-Was grateful for amazing friends, old friends, and new.
-Started looking for new jobs because old job is STILL not going well.
And last but not least, I find myself at the moment in constant state of either being very positive about life, or very down about it followed by a slightly panicked feeling. Which is not okay. Normally I'm very positive consistently, so the fact that I'm changing feelings nearly every other day is not good for my moral OR my peace of mind. My mind likes peace. It likes being positive. Universe, please explain yourself!
I have an inkling suspicion that its because I'm unhappy with where I am in life. Not my physical location by any means, but just for.....life. I should be further along. I should be published. But I'll get there. I've always been a late bloomer in a lot of things in life, why not writing as well, eh? It's still furstrating though, knowing where you want to be and not being there yet.
One thing I would like to say, because I can, is how I feel about New Years. A person recently said that no one should use New Years as an excuse to start something new. It's not needed. But I have an argument against that. Sure, you could just decide at any moment to start a new diet, or a new relationship, or a new fashion trend, but people NEED a push. And New Years is excellent for that. Its a Fresh Start, that's what people feel New Years is. A new year to do things differently, a REASON to do things differently. Its a NEW YEAR. A new you. A new...whatever you want.
I know I appreciate having a chance to take a breath and say, "okay, this is a new year. I can do things differently." and then DO IT. So yes, you can start something new anytime you want, but I think its perfectly reasonable and logical to start new things on New Years.
Oh, and expect a rant in the soon to be future (probably sometime this week. Wensday? Thursday?) about Nannying and children with ADHD. If you don't like rants or ADHD you MIGHT just want to grab a drink and walk away. Or grab a drink and listen in. It's going to be fun. In fact, grab a drink for me too! Thanks!
-Realized my job was not going well
-Had a nervous breakdown at 1 in the morning in car (not my proudest moment)
-Completed three short stories, submitted to a contest
-Started (and working on) a new novel! Er, Novella? Book? Thing? I'll have pages and words, that's all I can promise.
-In search of a title for my short story (that will eventually become a trilogy) that can't be submitted to another contest until I figure that out. Contest due Jan. 31. Bleh!
-Had to say goodbye to a friend too soon and desperately wished they were here. Or that I was there...(But Sweden is so cold......)
-Was grateful for amazing friends, old friends, and new.
-Started looking for new jobs because old job is STILL not going well.
And last but not least, I find myself at the moment in constant state of either being very positive about life, or very down about it followed by a slightly panicked feeling. Which is not okay. Normally I'm very positive consistently, so the fact that I'm changing feelings nearly every other day is not good for my moral OR my peace of mind. My mind likes peace. It likes being positive. Universe, please explain yourself!
I have an inkling suspicion that its because I'm unhappy with where I am in life. Not my physical location by any means, but just for.....life. I should be further along. I should be published. But I'll get there. I've always been a late bloomer in a lot of things in life, why not writing as well, eh? It's still furstrating though, knowing where you want to be and not being there yet.
One thing I would like to say, because I can, is how I feel about New Years. A person recently said that no one should use New Years as an excuse to start something new. It's not needed. But I have an argument against that. Sure, you could just decide at any moment to start a new diet, or a new relationship, or a new fashion trend, but people NEED a push. And New Years is excellent for that. Its a Fresh Start, that's what people feel New Years is. A new year to do things differently, a REASON to do things differently. Its a NEW YEAR. A new you. A new...whatever you want.
I know I appreciate having a chance to take a breath and say, "okay, this is a new year. I can do things differently." and then DO IT. So yes, you can start something new anytime you want, but I think its perfectly reasonable and logical to start new things on New Years.
Oh, and expect a rant in the soon to be future (probably sometime this week. Wensday? Thursday?) about Nannying and children with ADHD. If you don't like rants or ADHD you MIGHT just want to grab a drink and walk away. Or grab a drink and listen in. It's going to be fun. In fact, grab a drink for me too! Thanks!
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Hills, Mountains, and a Hopeful Heart
In life you have mountains and you have hills. Depending on who you are, even hills can seem like mountains. But there's no use whining about the things that pop in your life--you just have to take a deep breath (and hope that you've been working out at a gym recently) and charge up those hills and mountains, because there always going to be there, waiting. Immovable. For some people hills are getting less hours at work, being late for a meeting or date, or even accidentally paying rent late. Mountains are tougher, and often times they're internal. Such as overcoming addiction, self-hate, and depression.
My particular hill is self-doubt. Sometimes it goes away and I see nothing but a straight road to my goals with a nicely paved path and arrows blinking lights shouting, "you're going the right way!" Other times it becomes a hill that turns into a mountain and the signs are broken and read "turn back, you can't do this." Self-doubt is a hard thing to beat. Almost as hard as finding courage to climb past those signs and up the narrow trail winding into the mountains. It's something I struggle with daily. Today it was a tiny hill, tomorrow it could be a mountain. But that's where Hope comes in.
Hope for a better future, hope that my books will do well. Hope that I will somehow, someday, touch someone's life with my words. Make them look up from the last chapter and breath "It can't end!" The more I read, the more I write, the more I'm absolutely positive that writing is what I was meant to do with my life. Stories bubble up out of nowhere. Dreams. Thoughts. Laundry Commercials. Yarn. And I don't feel as much joy, agony, frustration, and triumph than when my hands are flying over my laptop keys putting forth a world that seems to come out all by itself.
I try not to listen to the self-doubt. I try to keep a hopeful heart. Because someday--and someday soon--my words will reach more than a few select friends, teenagers, and children. Someday soon my words will be seen by thousands and delight people of all ages. Or hopefully encouraged some one to want to be a writer too! For the past few weeks self-doubt has been a large mountain, but I heard a quote from a show recently, and it was so beautifully (if painfully) true that I've made it my new mantra. I say it every time I look into my e-mail box and see that I have no response from the latest agent I sent my book to. Because you need Hopeful Heart in this world of writing. Otherwise you might as well get rid of Word from your desktop and stop burning candles to the gods of writing.
"Confidence is easy. Confidence you can fake. But Success? You have to fail many times to get that."
My particular hill is self-doubt. Sometimes it goes away and I see nothing but a straight road to my goals with a nicely paved path and arrows blinking lights shouting, "you're going the right way!" Other times it becomes a hill that turns into a mountain and the signs are broken and read "turn back, you can't do this." Self-doubt is a hard thing to beat. Almost as hard as finding courage to climb past those signs and up the narrow trail winding into the mountains. It's something I struggle with daily. Today it was a tiny hill, tomorrow it could be a mountain. But that's where Hope comes in.
Hope for a better future, hope that my books will do well. Hope that I will somehow, someday, touch someone's life with my words. Make them look up from the last chapter and breath "It can't end!" The more I read, the more I write, the more I'm absolutely positive that writing is what I was meant to do with my life. Stories bubble up out of nowhere. Dreams. Thoughts. Laundry Commercials. Yarn. And I don't feel as much joy, agony, frustration, and triumph than when my hands are flying over my laptop keys putting forth a world that seems to come out all by itself.
I try not to listen to the self-doubt. I try to keep a hopeful heart. Because someday--and someday soon--my words will reach more than a few select friends, teenagers, and children. Someday soon my words will be seen by thousands and delight people of all ages. Or hopefully encouraged some one to want to be a writer too! For the past few weeks self-doubt has been a large mountain, but I heard a quote from a show recently, and it was so beautifully (if painfully) true that I've made it my new mantra. I say it every time I look into my e-mail box and see that I have no response from the latest agent I sent my book to. Because you need Hopeful Heart in this world of writing. Otherwise you might as well get rid of Word from your desktop and stop burning candles to the gods of writing.
"Confidence is easy. Confidence you can fake. But Success? You have to fail many times to get that."
Monday, June 10, 2013
And Now......
Why hello blog and people who read this blog! For those that follow me (which is hardly anyone. In fact, I think it's just me and voices in my head at this point), I'm sorry! But I have a list of excuses valid reasons as to why I couldn't write on this until now!
-My social life suddenly turned exceedingly social
-I finished my book!!!!
-I looked for agents and didn't find any willing to take a chance on me and plunged into a tub (or ten) of ice cream and pasta. (each sold separately. Pasta ice cream? Eugh.)
-I lost my social life. I think it went into the direction of 'never to be seen again'.
- I had to walk my cat
-I had to wash my hair.....a lot.
As you can see, I was really really busy! I went to England over the winter time to visit my dear friend Anna, and wished I could have stayed longer than two weeks. But while I was there I got inspired and came back home with tea AND two new story ideas!
I think a while ago I once said that people only ever write on blogs (generally) when they're either exceedingly happy or very sad/angry/depressed. At the moment I'm the second one. Well, part of it. You see, I'm going to Ireland for A) research for my second book and B) a much needed vacation. Why the sadness/depression then?? Excellent question! And the answer is:
I don't know why.
I wish I did. How hysterical is it that I get to go to a wonderful country where I've found the answer to why I am the way I am, only to be sad right before I go. I'm sure its a compilation of many little things. In part it's worry I don't have enough money to do what I want to do while I'm in Ireland (though I'll be fine, I'm sure!).Some of it is, I think, also in relation to a friendship. Or even deeper still, the thought that maybe I've become a horrible, selfish, self centered narcissist. Really, pick any adjective that describes 'me me me' attitudes and that's what I think I'm becoming. And I don't know how to un-become it. I don't think that's a word, but I'm making it one here in this blog.
People are important to me. So are friendship. And so are the opinions of others. I know technically I shouldn't care what people thing of me--but I do. Most of the time. I don't like the thought of being 'that person who talks about themselves a lot' (although I AM on this blog talking about myself....hmm...conundrum....), as that's not who I am--at least not every day of the week. And I'm not quite sure how to get back to basics so to speak.
But enough ranting about that! I'm sure I'll figure out how to fix myself with the help of google! Google knows all! So Ireland. I'm going there. It's going to be AMAZING. It hasn't sunk in just how awesome and amazing its going to be since I'm still stressed about not having enough money. I'll probably go into the mindset that I did when I was there last time: 'You have 700 dollars for two and a half weeks. Good luck!'. I have more than 700 dollars this time around, and the exchange rate is waaaaay better than last time! But still. I have that panicky 'you don't have enough money to do this feeling'.
So. Now you know what I'm doing and you're all caught up! I bet you didn't even get a chance to finish that cup of coffee you were in the middle of drinking while reading this! Or vodka. Whichever! The point is, that was the fastest I've ever summarized seven months of my life ever, and you were all here to witness it! Congrats!
-My social life suddenly turned exceedingly social
-I finished my book!!!!
-I looked for agents and didn't find any willing to take a chance on me and plunged into a tub (or ten) of ice cream and pasta. (each sold separately. Pasta ice cream? Eugh.)
-I lost my social life. I think it went into the direction of 'never to be seen again'.
- I had to walk my cat
-I had to wash my hair.....a lot.
As you can see, I was really really busy! I went to England over the winter time to visit my dear friend Anna, and wished I could have stayed longer than two weeks. But while I was there I got inspired and came back home with tea AND two new story ideas!
I think a while ago I once said that people only ever write on blogs (generally) when they're either exceedingly happy or very sad/angry/depressed. At the moment I'm the second one. Well, part of it. You see, I'm going to Ireland for A) research for my second book and B) a much needed vacation. Why the sadness/depression then?? Excellent question! And the answer is:
I don't know why.
I wish I did. How hysterical is it that I get to go to a wonderful country where I've found the answer to why I am the way I am, only to be sad right before I go. I'm sure its a compilation of many little things. In part it's worry I don't have enough money to do what I want to do while I'm in Ireland (though I'll be fine, I'm sure!).Some of it is, I think, also in relation to a friendship. Or even deeper still, the thought that maybe I've become a horrible, selfish, self centered narcissist. Really, pick any adjective that describes 'me me me' attitudes and that's what I think I'm becoming. And I don't know how to un-become it. I don't think that's a word, but I'm making it one here in this blog.
People are important to me. So are friendship. And so are the opinions of others. I know technically I shouldn't care what people thing of me--but I do. Most of the time. I don't like the thought of being 'that person who talks about themselves a lot' (although I AM on this blog talking about myself....hmm...conundrum....), as that's not who I am--at least not every day of the week. And I'm not quite sure how to get back to basics so to speak.
But enough ranting about that! I'm sure I'll figure out how to fix myself with the help of google! Google knows all! So Ireland. I'm going there. It's going to be AMAZING. It hasn't sunk in just how awesome and amazing its going to be since I'm still stressed about not having enough money. I'll probably go into the mindset that I did when I was there last time: 'You have 700 dollars for two and a half weeks. Good luck!'. I have more than 700 dollars this time around, and the exchange rate is waaaaay better than last time! But still. I have that panicky 'you don't have enough money to do this feeling'.
So. Now you know what I'm doing and you're all caught up! I bet you didn't even get a chance to finish that cup of coffee you were in the middle of drinking while reading this! Or vodka. Whichever! The point is, that was the fastest I've ever summarized seven months of my life ever, and you were all here to witness it! Congrats!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Getting the Boulder Rolling
Hello blog and all those invisible people reading this (I know its really only Ad marketers, but a blogger of no importance like myself can dream can't they?)! You may have wondered where I ran away to. I bet you thought I went and met a super handsome, charming LA boy who didn't have the usual 'judge a girl only by her looks' mind set. Well! I'm pleased to say you'd be.......wrong. HA!
In all actual factual reality I have spent the past *counts on fingers* seven months (REALLY!? 7 months?!) finishing my book. I have never in my life finished a book. Maybe I shouldn't state that on the internet where it will now be held up and made fun of later on in my life, but its worth the risk! I have completed my book! I agonized over, I spent a few weeks completely despondent over ever finishing it when the parts I thought would be easiest to write turned out to be the hardest. Of course, I couldn't share my misery alone. Oh no.
A few select friends were privy to my constant calling of them and saying "I can't do this!" and "I don't have enough material for 300 pages! What am I going to do!?!?!" And like the amazing troopers they were, they patted my back, filled my wine glass with wine, and forced me to finish it like all good friends do. Would I get this book finished without them? Maybe in five years...or never. Friends are a wonderful thing!
So yes! Seven months. And all I have to show for it is a completed book! If I had my way I'd slap my hands together and say "there, all done!" and leave it be. But I have very demanding friends and my little tiny ego has voiced that this book be published. And so with all of the starry eyed assurance of a teenager saying "I'm going to be the next Hannah Montana!" I've sent my little book out into the world of agents.
Its an odd thing to send out query letters. But I'll save that topic for another post--yup, its that harrowing of a tale! I've sent out queries along with exerts from my book and crossed fingers, and now I have to wait. Initially I only sent out four query letters (that is, letters you write to agents by trying to be your own agent describing your book in such a way that they want to show it off to others. That's right. You're an agent to get an agent. Writers, good luck!), and I have received two rejection letters. Though they were very nice rejection letters, and one even said my book was good, and to not give up! How's that for encouragement!?
As the season changes into fall, when people begin to anticipate buying apple cider while waiting for the end of the world on December 21, I'm just starting to prepare for a long battle. Because that's what the writing world is my friends. A battle. But now that I'm completely free (for now) of writing books, I can turn my attention back to my sorely neglected blog. Not that I have a lot going on in my life, but I'll try to keep it interesting!
Who knows? Maybe I'll do something crazy like land a book deal! Or find out that men in Southern California have spontanously become smart and well read young men who can carry on a conversation that doesn't revolve around the famous people they know, what they do, and how many girls they've slept with (why yes, I have had that conversation presented to me in that order while on a date).
A girl can dream!
In all actual factual reality I have spent the past *counts on fingers* seven months (REALLY!? 7 months?!) finishing my book. I have never in my life finished a book. Maybe I shouldn't state that on the internet where it will now be held up and made fun of later on in my life, but its worth the risk! I have completed my book! I agonized over, I spent a few weeks completely despondent over ever finishing it when the parts I thought would be easiest to write turned out to be the hardest. Of course, I couldn't share my misery alone. Oh no.
A few select friends were privy to my constant calling of them and saying "I can't do this!" and "I don't have enough material for 300 pages! What am I going to do!?!?!" And like the amazing troopers they were, they patted my back, filled my wine glass with wine, and forced me to finish it like all good friends do. Would I get this book finished without them? Maybe in five years...or never. Friends are a wonderful thing!
So yes! Seven months. And all I have to show for it is a completed book! If I had my way I'd slap my hands together and say "there, all done!" and leave it be. But I have very demanding friends and my little tiny ego has voiced that this book be published. And so with all of the starry eyed assurance of a teenager saying "I'm going to be the next Hannah Montana!" I've sent my little book out into the world of agents.
Its an odd thing to send out query letters. But I'll save that topic for another post--yup, its that harrowing of a tale! I've sent out queries along with exerts from my book and crossed fingers, and now I have to wait. Initially I only sent out four query letters (that is, letters you write to agents by trying to be your own agent describing your book in such a way that they want to show it off to others. That's right. You're an agent to get an agent. Writers, good luck!), and I have received two rejection letters. Though they were very nice rejection letters, and one even said my book was good, and to not give up! How's that for encouragement!?
As the season changes into fall, when people begin to anticipate buying apple cider while waiting for the end of the world on December 21, I'm just starting to prepare for a long battle. Because that's what the writing world is my friends. A battle. But now that I'm completely free (for now) of writing books, I can turn my attention back to my sorely neglected blog. Not that I have a lot going on in my life, but I'll try to keep it interesting!
Who knows? Maybe I'll do something crazy like land a book deal! Or find out that men in Southern California have spontanously become smart and well read young men who can carry on a conversation that doesn't revolve around the famous people they know, what they do, and how many girls they've slept with (why yes, I have had that conversation presented to me in that order while on a date).
A girl can dream!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Going Irish
There are two things that I am beyond a doubt. I am writer, and I'm Irish. I don't mean Irish in a "hey, my great-great-great-grandfather was from Ireland...I think the family name was Scapolini." way. I mean Irish in a "my grandparents are from Ireland and raised six VERY Irish children that attain accents when angry (or drunk)" way. I have always grown up in an Irish like environment. Family always coming and going, wakes filled with laughing, crying, and hidden alcohol (that's a whole other story), and the many evenings spent 'round a fireplace (or camp fire, or nightlight) listening to my dad tell folklore from the 'auld country'.
And it was this very childhood and the stories in it that made me silently (or maybe not so silently) rage against the authors who defamed, twisted, and flat out misused the information and stories of the Irish pantheons and storytellers. So slowly, carefully, I crafted a story as only a child born of a storyteller could. I decided to write a book using the true and accurate (to my knowledge and research) stories and folklore. I have always loved where my family came from, I was raised being told repeatedly by my father "Keely, your Irish".
I didn't realize how true that statement was until I went to Ireland. In Southern California where fit bodies, sun tanned leather skin and Blond Hair in a Box rule, I am the odd duck out. I am pale with freckles (mostly gone, but I was really freckled as a child), brownish red hair, and curves that most girls pay heafty sums for here. But I am odd. So when I landed in Ireland and found that every one was as talkative as myself and could spin a story out of their life just like I always did, it made me realize just how culturally 'Irish' my dad had raised me.
I had come home. And if felt wonderful.
So now I'm writing this book. I love it because I feel I can write the Good Folk of Ireland and all its glorious folktales and do it the justice and honesty it deserves. And a plot line hopefully worthy of the heroes of old. But for all of the little nuances that make me Irish, the simple fact that I wasn't raised there poses a problem when it comes to slang and dialect. My own cousins come from County Clare, and arrived in the 60's so other than gaining their accent, I don't know the slang. And I didn't know how Gaelic football (the MOST watched sport in Ireland, by the way) worked until I read the rules today for part of my story. Hell, its not even really going INTO the story, but I need to know it for a character's sake.
Writing is hard. Trying to find things out when you don't have a ton of friends from Ireland to help you with it is even harder. So for next two months despite my Irish heritage and upbringing, I must now GO IRISH. Its that or go home...or you know, to an Irish pub to nurse my wounds like any good Irish girl.
 | |
| Looks like the story of the "Soul Cages" from the worried faces! |
And it was this very childhood and the stories in it that made me silently (or maybe not so silently) rage against the authors who defamed, twisted, and flat out misused the information and stories of the Irish pantheons and storytellers. So slowly, carefully, I crafted a story as only a child born of a storyteller could. I decided to write a book using the true and accurate (to my knowledge and research) stories and folklore. I have always loved where my family came from, I was raised being told repeatedly by my father "Keely, your Irish".
I didn't realize how true that statement was until I went to Ireland. In Southern California where fit bodies, sun tanned leather skin and Blond Hair in a Box rule, I am the odd duck out. I am pale with freckles (mostly gone, but I was really freckled as a child), brownish red hair, and curves that most girls pay heafty sums for here. But I am odd. So when I landed in Ireland and found that every one was as talkative as myself and could spin a story out of their life just like I always did, it made me realize just how culturally 'Irish' my dad had raised me.
I had come home. And if felt wonderful.
So now I'm writing this book. I love it because I feel I can write the Good Folk of Ireland and all its glorious folktales and do it the justice and honesty it deserves. And a plot line hopefully worthy of the heroes of old. But for all of the little nuances that make me Irish, the simple fact that I wasn't raised there poses a problem when it comes to slang and dialect. My own cousins come from County Clare, and arrived in the 60's so other than gaining their accent, I don't know the slang. And I didn't know how Gaelic football (the MOST watched sport in Ireland, by the way) worked until I read the rules today for part of my story. Hell, its not even really going INTO the story, but I need to know it for a character's sake.
Writing is hard. Trying to find things out when you don't have a ton of friends from Ireland to help you with it is even harder. So for next two months despite my Irish heritage and upbringing, I must now GO IRISH. Its that or go home...or you know, to an Irish pub to nurse my wounds like any good Irish girl.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
2012: The Year Of Me
In a recent poll conducted by CNN it was pointed out that while the vast majority of American people had a dismal outlook on the state of their own country and government, they had high hopes and positive views on their own personal lives and goals, which I found very interesting and even hopeful. The reason for this is that it means that while many a man and woman has had trials and tribulations of the variety that 'try men's souls', they still come out the other side being positive. After hearing of this poll and thinking about it I've decided that this year is The Year Of Me.
People are focusing on themselves (and probably even their immediate family and friends), but unless your leaving your toddler on a counter-top near a set of steak knives unsupervised while you do yoga, taking time to really work on yourself is a very beneficial thing. Ever hear the phrase 'if mama ain't happy, ain't no one gonna be happy'? As red neck and simplistic as it sounds, its also very true. Happiness comes from inside and spreads outwards. When your stressed about your job, unhappy with your lot life, angry at your next door neighbor or frustrated over the fact that you can't seem to get rid of your mother in law who constantly pops into your life to offer advice about how to raise your children, your stress passes onto your husband/wife/partner/children and they all suffer because you don't have the patience to help them. So really, in my mind, taking this year to really focus on yourself and take stock of your life is a good thing.
For instance tonight I went ahead and deleted my profile from the numerous dating websites that I had been signed into. I hadn't had too much luck with the site, other than the occasional dating of LA men, and really, the other websites wanted money, and I just don't think a computer should be asking me to pay 19.99 a month for doing little in the way of finding a really good man/woman. And really, what have any of my previous relationships (if you can call them that) offered me? Nothing except heart ache. So this year I'm doing the things I'd avoided doing all of last year. One of them--while not on my resolution list--is to in effect, stop looking for love. If there's one thing I've learned its that love and relationships come either when
a) its the absolutely worst time to meet some one--like say when you are running after a mail truck in pj's that are covered in care bear faces as a very dashing man steps out of an expensive looking car and happens to see said spectacle.
or
b) when you say to yourself "I'm busy with work and goals and don't have time for men" then find yourself suddenly head over heels for person. Why IS that any way!?
My new years resolution isn't a very extensive list, but the articles in it are very important to my life and contribute to the Year Of Me. They are the following:
1) Find an exercise regime and stick to it.
2) Finish my book
3) Find a job/career that I am happy and fulfilled in
4) Travel
That's it. But as I look at the list I realize that if I stick to my guns and I mean really stick to them, my life over the course of the year will certainly improve! I've also decided that I spend waaaaay too much time being annoyed/exasperated and perhaps I even am a little too opinionated. So I will endure to be more sympathetic (which isn't TOO hard of a stretch, I just need to learn to SHUT. MY. MOUTH.) and to simply laugh at the follies of my life rather than be angry at them. As to my career aspirations....honestly I'm still trying to figure that out. My life could go in so many directions at this point, and I'm not sure which direction to go. So for now I'm going to meditate on it while I desperately look for a job that can support me and pay bills.
I don't expect to find any sort of romance this year, rather I think this year is more about making myself better and more into the person I want to be and establishing a career I can be proud and happy of. So, here's crossing my fingers and hoping for the best, because thinking of anything even remotely sad would probably end up with my lying on a floor cuddling a bottle of cherry vodka and trying to force myself to become five again.
Here is to the new year! I hope The Year Of You works out and brings you many needed changes--even if you think you might not need or want them!
People are focusing on themselves (and probably even their immediate family and friends), but unless your leaving your toddler on a counter-top near a set of steak knives unsupervised while you do yoga, taking time to really work on yourself is a very beneficial thing. Ever hear the phrase 'if mama ain't happy, ain't no one gonna be happy'? As red neck and simplistic as it sounds, its also very true. Happiness comes from inside and spreads outwards. When your stressed about your job, unhappy with your lot life, angry at your next door neighbor or frustrated over the fact that you can't seem to get rid of your mother in law who constantly pops into your life to offer advice about how to raise your children, your stress passes onto your husband/wife/partner/children and they all suffer because you don't have the patience to help them. So really, in my mind, taking this year to really focus on yourself and take stock of your life is a good thing.
For instance tonight I went ahead and deleted my profile from the numerous dating websites that I had been signed into. I hadn't had too much luck with the site, other than the occasional dating of LA men, and really, the other websites wanted money, and I just don't think a computer should be asking me to pay 19.99 a month for doing little in the way of finding a really good man/woman. And really, what have any of my previous relationships (if you can call them that) offered me? Nothing except heart ache. So this year I'm doing the things I'd avoided doing all of last year. One of them--while not on my resolution list--is to in effect, stop looking for love. If there's one thing I've learned its that love and relationships come either when
a) its the absolutely worst time to meet some one--like say when you are running after a mail truck in pj's that are covered in care bear faces as a very dashing man steps out of an expensive looking car and happens to see said spectacle.
or
b) when you say to yourself "I'm busy with work and goals and don't have time for men" then find yourself suddenly head over heels for person. Why IS that any way!?
My new years resolution isn't a very extensive list, but the articles in it are very important to my life and contribute to the Year Of Me. They are the following:
1) Find an exercise regime and stick to it.
2) Finish my book
3) Find a job/career that I am happy and fulfilled in
4) Travel
That's it. But as I look at the list I realize that if I stick to my guns and I mean really stick to them, my life over the course of the year will certainly improve! I've also decided that I spend waaaaay too much time being annoyed/exasperated and perhaps I even am a little too opinionated. So I will endure to be more sympathetic (which isn't TOO hard of a stretch, I just need to learn to SHUT. MY. MOUTH.) and to simply laugh at the follies of my life rather than be angry at them. As to my career aspirations....honestly I'm still trying to figure that out. My life could go in so many directions at this point, and I'm not sure which direction to go. So for now I'm going to meditate on it while I desperately look for a job that can support me and pay bills.
I don't expect to find any sort of romance this year, rather I think this year is more about making myself better and more into the person I want to be and establishing a career I can be proud and happy of. So, here's crossing my fingers and hoping for the best, because thinking of anything even remotely sad would probably end up with my lying on a floor cuddling a bottle of cherry vodka and trying to force myself to become five again.
Here is to the new year! I hope The Year Of You works out and brings you many needed changes--even if you think you might not need or want them!
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