Let me just start this post by stating this fact: I am not a tech genius. If I were in a classroom being graded on my ability to know what a Widget was, I would fail and everyone would point their fingers and laugh me out of the room. For instance, my idea of fixing a computer is pressing ctrl+ alt+ del before smacking it and yelling 'why won't you work!?!?!' repeatedly. Sometimes it works, and sometimes my computer mocks me and freezes before deleting my favorite pages. Again, I'm not a genius (although it may look like it).
That being said, I'm trying to get on Bloglovin'. Why, you ask yourself? Because like a homeless person always asking for spare change, I want more. I'm addicted to peoples opinions and there's no cure, so I'm adhering to their odd law of copy and pasting their website on here to join it. Of course I always question WHY I would want people to read my blog, after all its not about anything in particular other than my daily life of living in Southern California (Orange County aka The OC), and my need to point out the seedy underbelly of it along with my musing on life. But I figure if people in Japan and Cambodia can get 10 thousand followers just for LIVING there, then why can't I!?
So, if you're reading this entry, it means you've found me through a) bloglovin' b) blogger or c) you stumbled on it while drunk one night and saved it while taking your fourth shot of tequila.
Either way, you've found it, so congratulations!
<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3287020/sailing-on-a-dream?claim=ewtwxntqdbd">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Rainageddon!
Look out SoCal it's raining, and you know what that means! Get on your snow boots, down jackets, and thick scarfs because the temperature has hit 49 degrees! Remember to bubble wrap your children and get a couple of good books out, you're going to be stuck in traffic for the next five hours.
For those of you who don't live in Southern California, or have never visited us when we encounter a 'rain storm' let me enlighten you.
For most of the world rain is a completely normal experience. You look at the rain and think 'I can just wear my hoodie' and then get on with your life. In Southern California most people take one look at drizzly rain and throw on a huge jacket and arm themselves with an umbrella. Now sure, I'm guilty of this, but to be fair its the ONLY TIME we're able to wear something even resembling fall fashion. The real problem here is driving.
If you will recall an older entry I wrote on driving etiquette in the OC, then you will know how awful our traffic is. So you can imagine then just how god awful it is in the rain. People in California can barely drive (I should know, I've been 'almost' hit more times than I can count) and when the rain comes your safest bet--if you're smart or a visitor--is to just stay inside. Don't say I didn't warn you! I have seen a huge SUV spin out right in front my car because they were driving too fast, and CA roads are not designed for rain.
Most people however treat it like a regular day and don't driver slower despite the knowledge of the slick roads--thus leading to 20 car pile-ups (car crashes). My personal favorite occurrence is a small fender bender where there is almost NO damage, but it doesn't stop 1.2 million people from wanting to look at it like its a new ride at Disneyland and creating traffic for NO GOOD REASON.
I suppose my love of rain is in part due to my childhood, where I spent most of my rainy days happily listening to stories my dad would make up, read books, or snuggle into a couch with tomato soup and a movie. In other words, to enjoy the rain and use it as an excuse to not work. But most people in CA are hardly ever prepared for rain--not even a light misting.
So please, if you visit while its raining and you want to live, stay inside while it rains. Or toddle over to a movie theater and stay there until the rain leaves (or the other people), because if you don't you'll be coming face to face with wild eyed freaked-out SoCal residences who will look at you and bemoan the rain that we actually need to keep our water sources and hills replenished. And you, you lucky people, only have to throw on a hoodie!
 |
| A plant in my garden during a break in the rain |
For most of the world rain is a completely normal experience. You look at the rain and think 'I can just wear my hoodie' and then get on with your life. In Southern California most people take one look at drizzly rain and throw on a huge jacket and arm themselves with an umbrella. Now sure, I'm guilty of this, but to be fair its the ONLY TIME we're able to wear something even resembling fall fashion. The real problem here is driving.
If you will recall an older entry I wrote on driving etiquette in the OC, then you will know how awful our traffic is. So you can imagine then just how god awful it is in the rain. People in California can barely drive (I should know, I've been 'almost' hit more times than I can count) and when the rain comes your safest bet--if you're smart or a visitor--is to just stay inside. Don't say I didn't warn you! I have seen a huge SUV spin out right in front my car because they were driving too fast, and CA roads are not designed for rain.
Most people however treat it like a regular day and don't driver slower despite the knowledge of the slick roads--thus leading to 20 car pile-ups (car crashes). My personal favorite occurrence is a small fender bender where there is almost NO damage, but it doesn't stop 1.2 million people from wanting to look at it like its a new ride at Disneyland and creating traffic for NO GOOD REASON.
I suppose my love of rain is in part due to my childhood, where I spent most of my rainy days happily listening to stories my dad would make up, read books, or snuggle into a couch with tomato soup and a movie. In other words, to enjoy the rain and use it as an excuse to not work. But most people in CA are hardly ever prepared for rain--not even a light misting.
So please, if you visit while its raining and you want to live, stay inside while it rains. Or toddle over to a movie theater and stay there until the rain leaves (or the other people), because if you don't you'll be coming face to face with wild eyed freaked-out SoCal residences who will look at you and bemoan the rain that we actually need to keep our water sources and hills replenished. And you, you lucky people, only have to throw on a hoodie!
 |
| A Rose in my garden after a good soaking! |
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Are YOU a good date to yourself?
I came across an article today touting the importance of dating yourself. In other words, learning how to enjoy some quality 'me time'. As a girl who has been largely single for most of her life, I highly encourage people to do this. Whether for good or bad, I've had many long months where I will find most of my friends in a combination of school-boyfriends-engagements-kids that equal a 'dry spell' for me, since I had no significant other with which to fall back on to do things with. So often times I am pitted against a Saturday or Sunday with a whole city at my disposal and no one to share i with. Well. No one except ME.
So, like the 21st century girl I was raised to be I dress pretty, don makeup, do my hair up, and hit the town (oh alright, the oh-so-convenient Irvine Spectrum)! Often times I go see a movie and then grab lunch before happily skipping off to the book store to consume vast amounts of stories. I have no problem eating by myself with nothing to distract me (Although I admit I sometimes bring a book because I love reading). I remember once--but not long ago--a woman working at the resturaunt I was eating at came up to me and asked me,
"Are you here by yourself?"
I replied that I was.
"Oh wow," she said with something suspiciously like awe, "I could never do that! That's so brave! Good for you!"
Since when did enjoying your own company become tantamount to being brave? Is it really so socially unconventional to be a woman and ENJOY sitting by yourself and being amused by the conversations you hear around you (some might call it eaves dropping. I call it finding my next one liner.)? Why can men do it and no one questions them? I really do feel that sometimes if you're a woman and by yourself--i.e. not dating any one, or you have the implication that you're not dating any one--that you must be some one to be pitied. Why?
If you actually LIKE yourself, being alone isn't even something you really question. I don't at least. I suppose at one time or another during my life I've had to amuse myself. I learned to do things that I liked because as a child, I never really had any one my age to play with. So I played make pretend and climbed trees by myself. The only difference now is that I go to a movie, or take a walk, or travel to a different country by myself instead of playing with barbies. After reading the article I had to admit though, I really do enjoy 'dating' myself. I like my company, I constantly amuse myself with my thoughts--which probably scares the poor people around me who wonder why I'm giggling--and I find that I'm much more aware of things around me than I would be if I were with some one.
At what seems like the very old age of 26, I have realized some truths about my life thus far. Whether I have a serious relationship with a man or not, I will always have myself. Perhaps for some people that's not very comforting, but maybe that's because they don't like their own company. However I can always count on myself to take me out to a nice restaurant, buy flowers and chocolates, or even spoil me with a massage at a spa! Having a boyfriend would be wonderful, but until that happens, more and more often I find that I LIKE the thought of doing things by myself--and for myself.
So, like the 21st century girl I was raised to be I dress pretty, don makeup, do my hair up, and hit the town (oh alright, the oh-so-convenient Irvine Spectrum)! Often times I go see a movie and then grab lunch before happily skipping off to the book store to consume vast amounts of stories. I have no problem eating by myself with nothing to distract me (Although I admit I sometimes bring a book because I love reading). I remember once--but not long ago--a woman working at the resturaunt I was eating at came up to me and asked me,
"Are you here by yourself?"
I replied that I was.
"Oh wow," she said with something suspiciously like awe, "I could never do that! That's so brave! Good for you!"
Since when did enjoying your own company become tantamount to being brave? Is it really so socially unconventional to be a woman and ENJOY sitting by yourself and being amused by the conversations you hear around you (some might call it eaves dropping. I call it finding my next one liner.)? Why can men do it and no one questions them? I really do feel that sometimes if you're a woman and by yourself--i.e. not dating any one, or you have the implication that you're not dating any one--that you must be some one to be pitied. Why?
If you actually LIKE yourself, being alone isn't even something you really question. I don't at least. I suppose at one time or another during my life I've had to amuse myself. I learned to do things that I liked because as a child, I never really had any one my age to play with. So I played make pretend and climbed trees by myself. The only difference now is that I go to a movie, or take a walk, or travel to a different country by myself instead of playing with barbies. After reading the article I had to admit though, I really do enjoy 'dating' myself. I like my company, I constantly amuse myself with my thoughts--which probably scares the poor people around me who wonder why I'm giggling--and I find that I'm much more aware of things around me than I would be if I were with some one.
At what seems like the very old age of 26, I have realized some truths about my life thus far. Whether I have a serious relationship with a man or not, I will always have myself. Perhaps for some people that's not very comforting, but maybe that's because they don't like their own company. However I can always count on myself to take me out to a nice restaurant, buy flowers and chocolates, or even spoil me with a massage at a spa! Having a boyfriend would be wonderful, but until that happens, more and more often I find that I LIKE the thought of doing things by myself--and for myself.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Apple Picking SoCal Style!
In places other than Southern California (also known as SoCal to us residence) children are frolicking in fall colored leaves, drinking hot coco, and putting on thicker sweaters as dark clouds begin to skitter across the sky. But here in the OC we're dying of heat and wondering when-oh-when the rain will come. But its SoCal. It NEVER comes. So rather than be sad and depressed about the never coming fall weather I contrived a plan to do the most iconic fall like activity I could think of.
Go apple picking!
But where could there possibly be apple orchards in an almost desert? Why a beautiful, magical town called Julian, of course! It's quaint, its old, its got a working silver mine, and apple orchards. After much shuffling of schedules and being told by many an orchard 'sorry, we're full' and 'our apples died this year' I finally managed to find one. Armed with enthusiasm, fall clothing (and yes, I did nearly die of the heat), and a camera, I headed off to the orchard with my amused mother.
With the energy and wonder of a five year old I carefully inspected every single apple tree and picked only the most scrumptious looking apples I could find, after all, these apples were for pie baking. I filled my basket to the brim, and never mind the heat, I looked pretty fantastic! Not that I cared, because it was apple day! The orchards were buzzing with a few bees still collecting the last of the nectar they needed, and red ants and I had a nice run of surprise attacks (guess who surprised who when they went to sit down!?). All in all, the apple picking was a success!
My fun filled day wasn't done yet though! We stopped into Julian, and after a delicious meal we meandered along the streets and rummaged through antique shops. I found a beautiful antique tea cup made in Finland, and even got a discount on it! I almost love it more than my Japanese made tea-cup! After that we needed to replenish our rapidly depleting energies, so we went for the world famous Julian Apple Pies (my mom's REAL reason for going, and not my delightful company. Deceived again!). They were delicious,especially the ice cream they put on the side!We went through a few more antique shops, and then decided to head home, to beat out the other tourists still stuffing themselves with pie.
It had been a beautiful day (Even if I DID overly dress the part for all the heat), and honestly, I had tons of fun prancing around an apple orchard pretending it was a cold day in Vermont. Next year, I think I'll pick twice as many apples!
 |
| My mom reaching for an apple! |
Go apple picking!
But where could there possibly be apple orchards in an almost desert? Why a beautiful, magical town called Julian, of course! It's quaint, its old, its got a working silver mine, and apple orchards. After much shuffling of schedules and being told by many an orchard 'sorry, we're full' and 'our apples died this year' I finally managed to find one. Armed with enthusiasm, fall clothing (and yes, I did nearly die of the heat), and a camera, I headed off to the orchard with my amused mother.
With the energy and wonder of a five year old I carefully inspected every single apple tree and picked only the most scrumptious looking apples I could find, after all, these apples were for pie baking. I filled my basket to the brim, and never mind the heat, I looked pretty fantastic! Not that I cared, because it was apple day! The orchards were buzzing with a few bees still collecting the last of the nectar they needed, and red ants and I had a nice run of surprise attacks (guess who surprised who when they went to sit down!?). All in all, the apple picking was a success!
 |
| So delicious looking!! |
My fun filled day wasn't done yet though! We stopped into Julian, and after a delicious meal we meandered along the streets and rummaged through antique shops. I found a beautiful antique tea cup made in Finland, and even got a discount on it! I almost love it more than my Japanese made tea-cup! After that we needed to replenish our rapidly depleting energies, so we went for the world famous Julian Apple Pies (my mom's REAL reason for going, and not my delightful company. Deceived again!). They were delicious,especially the ice cream they put on the side!We went through a few more antique shops, and then decided to head home, to beat out the other tourists still stuffing themselves with pie.
 |
| Part of Julian. Can you believe that's in Southern California!? |
It had been a beautiful day (Even if I DID overly dress the part for all the heat), and honestly, I had tons of fun prancing around an apple orchard pretending it was a cold day in Vermont. Next year, I think I'll pick twice as many apples!
 |
| Am I tempting you yet!? |
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Dating Is For The Young
The internet is a great place for almost everything, and especially for dating. I mean, where else could you meet five guys, chat with them, and then pick one or two you like for a date? Some might argue you could do the same at a bar, but I would like to point out that very rarely are those men coherent enough to string together a cohesive sentence that describes something other than "me, you, my bed." or "you're hot. Let's grind!" Also you are safe from the risk of getting felt up or drugged.
Recently I went on a few dates with a very nice guy that I met thanks to the internet. Now honestly I can say that I think he's smart, goal oriented, and very cute. I'm not sure on his sense of humor yet. As of now both dates have felt decidedly....date-ish. You know, where you sort of interview each other but are trying really hard NOT to make it seem like its an interview? Yeah. I find that its a bit hard to gauge his sense of humor because honestly, he hasn't told a lot of jokes. Then again, we haven't really gotten to the point of feeling comfortable with each other, I think. It's very hard to gauge him, and usually I have an eye sharper than a hawk when it comes to the emotional feelings of others. I have NO idea what he thinks of me.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or a bad thing.
The first date we had I felt confident and pretty--which in my world is a rare feat indeed--and while I'm a known talker (I like to think of myself as a one man comedy show) I did try extra hard to ask lots of questions about him. So it was a bit off putting when his answers were...for lack of a better description, the complete opposite of how I tell answers (think the overly exaggerated expressions of silent films mixed with the the verbal and mental speed of the Gilmore Girls). He was interesting to listen to, but very rarely did a story flow into another story or another topic. Instead, it was a round of twenty (or fifty) questions.
I had already told myself that this was going to be something light and casual, because the last couple times I had thought I had something I ruined it by being serious too fast (or in other words, being more prepared for a relationship than they were). So I was determined to take it slow this time, to just enjoy the moment and not take it for anything more than it was. I put my mouth in my foot so many times I'm surprised I didn't get hoof/mouth disease, and thus ensuring that I probably wouldn't get that second date. But the thought didn't bother me since I had taken this so lightly. But apparently my spunk and constant need to talk (out of nervousness, I assure you!) did not detour him, and he wanted a second date. So the same week I saw him again.
Once more it was a round of twenty questions,a few awkward silences and me finally just apologizing for talking so much--which I would like to point out, he actually ENCOURAGED (what's wrong with him?!)--before we headed off to get lunch. I had assumed of course that at this point he would surely be sick of me, because after telling me at the end of our date "I would love for you to come to a potluck dinner with me and my friends" he didn't bother to call/text/e-mail me at all for three days (it was the same way for our second date as well). I assumed I had read too much into thinking he liked me (I realize at this point, I'm using a lot of 'assumes' here, but I'm a woman, and therefor entitled to it!) and had only said that to be polite before rapidly heading for the hills to join monks.
Instead I ended up at his place the next week where we proceeded to make dinner (he's a vegetarian and while I enjoyed my meal of tofu and grain, I think I'd only last a couple days without actual meat in me) and watch a movie. During this movie watching I felt...awkward. Not sure of how much affection to give and realizing very rapidly that while I enjoyed his company I wasn't feeling that 'zing' or 'easiness' that all of my happily married/in-a-serious-relationship friends had and enjoyed. I felt like a 16 year old hiding out in the basement trying to remember the advice column of 16 Magazine. Needless to say I wasn't in any way, shape or form ready to do anything more than give him a hug.
So after several days of trying to figure out if something was wrong with me, and taking a good hard look at the past few dates (and advice from family) I've come to the conclusion that while he IS a nice guy, dating him or feeling that 'spark' just isn't going to happen. And that's life. Trying to find the right time and way to say 'hey thanks, but no thanks' is the real kicker, and I still don't know how to do that. But after all of the ups and downs I will say now what I said when I was 16:
Dating is for the young.
Recently I went on a few dates with a very nice guy that I met thanks to the internet. Now honestly I can say that I think he's smart, goal oriented, and very cute. I'm not sure on his sense of humor yet. As of now both dates have felt decidedly....date-ish. You know, where you sort of interview each other but are trying really hard NOT to make it seem like its an interview? Yeah. I find that its a bit hard to gauge his sense of humor because honestly, he hasn't told a lot of jokes. Then again, we haven't really gotten to the point of feeling comfortable with each other, I think. It's very hard to gauge him, and usually I have an eye sharper than a hawk when it comes to the emotional feelings of others. I have NO idea what he thinks of me.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or a bad thing.
The first date we had I felt confident and pretty--which in my world is a rare feat indeed--and while I'm a known talker (I like to think of myself as a one man comedy show) I did try extra hard to ask lots of questions about him. So it was a bit off putting when his answers were...for lack of a better description, the complete opposite of how I tell answers (think the overly exaggerated expressions of silent films mixed with the the verbal and mental speed of the Gilmore Girls). He was interesting to listen to, but very rarely did a story flow into another story or another topic. Instead, it was a round of twenty (or fifty) questions.
I had already told myself that this was going to be something light and casual, because the last couple times I had thought I had something I ruined it by being serious too fast (or in other words, being more prepared for a relationship than they were). So I was determined to take it slow this time, to just enjoy the moment and not take it for anything more than it was. I put my mouth in my foot so many times I'm surprised I didn't get hoof/mouth disease, and thus ensuring that I probably wouldn't get that second date. But the thought didn't bother me since I had taken this so lightly. But apparently my spunk and constant need to talk (out of nervousness, I assure you!) did not detour him, and he wanted a second date. So the same week I saw him again.
Once more it was a round of twenty questions,a few awkward silences and me finally just apologizing for talking so much--which I would like to point out, he actually ENCOURAGED (what's wrong with him?!)--before we headed off to get lunch. I had assumed of course that at this point he would surely be sick of me, because after telling me at the end of our date "I would love for you to come to a potluck dinner with me and my friends" he didn't bother to call/text/e-mail me at all for three days (it was the same way for our second date as well). I assumed I had read too much into thinking he liked me (I realize at this point, I'm using a lot of 'assumes' here, but I'm a woman, and therefor entitled to it!) and had only said that to be polite before rapidly heading for the hills to join monks.
Instead I ended up at his place the next week where we proceeded to make dinner (he's a vegetarian and while I enjoyed my meal of tofu and grain, I think I'd only last a couple days without actual meat in me) and watch a movie. During this movie watching I felt...awkward. Not sure of how much affection to give and realizing very rapidly that while I enjoyed his company I wasn't feeling that 'zing' or 'easiness' that all of my happily married/in-a-serious-relationship friends had and enjoyed. I felt like a 16 year old hiding out in the basement trying to remember the advice column of 16 Magazine. Needless to say I wasn't in any way, shape or form ready to do anything more than give him a hug.
So after several days of trying to figure out if something was wrong with me, and taking a good hard look at the past few dates (and advice from family) I've come to the conclusion that while he IS a nice guy, dating him or feeling that 'spark' just isn't going to happen. And that's life. Trying to find the right time and way to say 'hey thanks, but no thanks' is the real kicker, and I still don't know how to do that. But after all of the ups and downs I will say now what I said when I was 16:
Dating is for the young.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Don't You Wish You Were a Masochist Too!?
Hi, my name is Keely, and I'm a masochist.
*insert standard drone/slightly bored/slightly aggitated 'hiiiiiii keely' *
While some people simply do the normal thing like stalk their exes just to see them smile one more time, or listen to Brittany Spears to remember their Jr high years despite the fact that they realize she's bad, I do a much more dorkier yet equally painful thing.
I start watching vlogs about life in Japan.
The sane part of my brain says "Keely you KNOW you can't go to Japan. Nor can you go to a high school and be a high school student there. Or be an English teacher. This is not healthy. You need to look away from the screen and stop looking at how much plane tickets cost."
But the funner, more irrational side urges me on. It doesn't help that I've been having conversations with my Japanese friends of late, writing and speaking in Japanese. Its not a good thing at all. But I keep doing it. I've been consumed with a need to be in Japan since I was 14 years old. But as we didn't have an exchange program in our school, nor did I have the grades to do it anyway, I never got to be a student in the hallow halls of Japan. Not a big deal really. Not going to Japan AT ALL is what is killing me. So somehow, some way, I will get there.
In the mean time, I will watch THIS girl to tide me over. She's cute, quirky, and surprisingly funny despite her obvious love affair with the word 'like'. She's got pretty good inadvertent comedic timing as well, which is always a good sign in a person. And we can't forget THIS girl either. Her's is a more college experience...and one that is actually probably a lot more informative whereas the other girl is just fun to watch. Oh how I wish I were in Japan!
*insert standard drone/slightly bored/slightly aggitated 'hiiiiiii keely' *
While some people simply do the normal thing like stalk their exes just to see them smile one more time, or listen to Brittany Spears to remember their Jr high years despite the fact that they realize she's bad, I do a much more dorkier yet equally painful thing.
I start watching vlogs about life in Japan.
The sane part of my brain says "Keely you KNOW you can't go to Japan. Nor can you go to a high school and be a high school student there. Or be an English teacher. This is not healthy. You need to look away from the screen and stop looking at how much plane tickets cost."
But the funner, more irrational side urges me on. It doesn't help that I've been having conversations with my Japanese friends of late, writing and speaking in Japanese. Its not a good thing at all. But I keep doing it. I've been consumed with a need to be in Japan since I was 14 years old. But as we didn't have an exchange program in our school, nor did I have the grades to do it anyway, I never got to be a student in the hallow halls of Japan. Not a big deal really. Not going to Japan AT ALL is what is killing me. So somehow, some way, I will get there.
In the mean time, I will watch THIS girl to tide me over. She's cute, quirky, and surprisingly funny despite her obvious love affair with the word 'like'. She's got pretty good inadvertent comedic timing as well, which is always a good sign in a person. And we can't forget THIS girl either. Her's is a more college experience...and one that is actually probably a lot more informative whereas the other girl is just fun to watch. Oh how I wish I were in Japan!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Who Needs Freud When You Have 'Why'?
As children we have a driving need to ask 'why'. We ask because we have no idea how things work. Science,technology, magic, you name it, we want to know what it is. Why do we breath? Why do we feel pain? Why is the grass green? Why do birds sing? Why do flowers have different colors? And this questioning of Why leads us to How. How does a cloud get made? How does the sun shine? How does a flower grow? But always, even when we become older, we return to why. We understand how clouds are made, what drives the ocean tides (that would be the pull of the moon, for those of you who didn't know!), how cells duplicate, and we even know where babies come from! But WHY?
You hear this word from the broken voice of your friend after their significant other has left them, from the scientist trying to figure out a complex equation, and from the many voices of those around the world who lose their loved ones. Why? It's three letters, but it can cause the most discomfort. As children we don't know that this word will become something we shy away from. We avoid it like the plague because that little word digs deep--and makes you dig deep even when you don't want to. So we lock the word up and don't question things because as adults, deep down, we know the answers and are afraid to hear the reply to our 'why'.
I admit freely to doing this. In fact, I didn't realize I had been shying away from the deeper meaning of my 'why' questions until faced with--and reminded of---it today. For a while, even before the undoing of my perceptions of myself, I had felt lost. I had lost a connection with Spirit, with the things around me. I couldn't hear the voice of my intuition, or feel the beating of the earth when I went barefoot on the ground. I had lost the voice of my guides, and my excitement for my religion. And then that little word popped up. Why? I shied away from it. I didn't want to know why. I was frustrated, sad, lonely, and because I couldn't hear spirit, I gave up trying to understand why. 'I'll get to it later', I told myself. 'Later' is an evil four letter word that should be up there with other unmentionables. I'm sure you know the words of which I speak.
But today while looking through a book I flipped to a page. And as my guides often do, they led me strait to what I needed to do. 'Ask yourself Why', the book stated. 'Only then can you find your problem, release it, and heal'. If only I could hear such words so clearly given to me in my head! Honestly, I think my guides just have a sense of humor. The words jumped out from the page almost as quickly as the title of the chapter, and I knew as I read the big bold text that I needed to heed the words in the book--they were things that I had been avoiding.
After reading the chapter it reminded me of several things--not least of which was the fact that I had forgotten that often times my guides spoke to me through literal written word. And because of the whole ten pages that I read, I realized with sudden clarity that my guides had been giving me advice and speaking to me consistently for more than a month now. I just hadn't realized it because I was avoiding the question Why. It doesn't have to be a scary word, but often times it is. This is because the deeper reason is often something we don't want to face.
By asking Why we open ourselves up to truths we might not want to face. But we have to. The only way to really be at peace with ourselves is to realize that asking Why isn't bad--it helps become more aware. While the book I read mostly contains things that don't really offer me much that I already know, reading that one chapter armed me with ideas I had forgotten, and irony of ironies, it said 'your guides will often try to reach you through the written word'. My guides really DO have a penchant for being blunt don't they? Cheeky buggers! Here I was wondering why I couldn't hear them when they had been time and again trying to reach me. Teach me. Remind me. So I being my quest now. Its internal and therefore is free--but its not much of a vacation.
I realize it won't be easy. I still get uncomfortable when I start to ask myself that three letter word. However I can see the light through the murky questions, and all I need to do is ask Why to get nearer to a better and shinier new me. Hopefully a me I can stand tall and be proud of. And be wiser for the wear.
You hear this word from the broken voice of your friend after their significant other has left them, from the scientist trying to figure out a complex equation, and from the many voices of those around the world who lose their loved ones. Why? It's three letters, but it can cause the most discomfort. As children we don't know that this word will become something we shy away from. We avoid it like the plague because that little word digs deep--and makes you dig deep even when you don't want to. So we lock the word up and don't question things because as adults, deep down, we know the answers and are afraid to hear the reply to our 'why'.
I admit freely to doing this. In fact, I didn't realize I had been shying away from the deeper meaning of my 'why' questions until faced with--and reminded of---it today. For a while, even before the undoing of my perceptions of myself, I had felt lost. I had lost a connection with Spirit, with the things around me. I couldn't hear the voice of my intuition, or feel the beating of the earth when I went barefoot on the ground. I had lost the voice of my guides, and my excitement for my religion. And then that little word popped up. Why? I shied away from it. I didn't want to know why. I was frustrated, sad, lonely, and because I couldn't hear spirit, I gave up trying to understand why. 'I'll get to it later', I told myself. 'Later' is an evil four letter word that should be up there with other unmentionables. I'm sure you know the words of which I speak.
But today while looking through a book I flipped to a page. And as my guides often do, they led me strait to what I needed to do. 'Ask yourself Why', the book stated. 'Only then can you find your problem, release it, and heal'. If only I could hear such words so clearly given to me in my head! Honestly, I think my guides just have a sense of humor. The words jumped out from the page almost as quickly as the title of the chapter, and I knew as I read the big bold text that I needed to heed the words in the book--they were things that I had been avoiding.
After reading the chapter it reminded me of several things--not least of which was the fact that I had forgotten that often times my guides spoke to me through literal written word. And because of the whole ten pages that I read, I realized with sudden clarity that my guides had been giving me advice and speaking to me consistently for more than a month now. I just hadn't realized it because I was avoiding the question Why. It doesn't have to be a scary word, but often times it is. This is because the deeper reason is often something we don't want to face.
By asking Why we open ourselves up to truths we might not want to face. But we have to. The only way to really be at peace with ourselves is to realize that asking Why isn't bad--it helps become more aware. While the book I read mostly contains things that don't really offer me much that I already know, reading that one chapter armed me with ideas I had forgotten, and irony of ironies, it said 'your guides will often try to reach you through the written word'. My guides really DO have a penchant for being blunt don't they? Cheeky buggers! Here I was wondering why I couldn't hear them when they had been time and again trying to reach me. Teach me. Remind me. So I being my quest now. Its internal and therefore is free--but its not much of a vacation.
I realize it won't be easy. I still get uncomfortable when I start to ask myself that three letter word. However I can see the light through the murky questions, and all I need to do is ask Why to get nearer to a better and shinier new me. Hopefully a me I can stand tall and be proud of. And be wiser for the wear.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)