A Road of Pebbles and Rocks

There are only two...no, three reasons you update a blog.

1) you're angry/sad/depressed/disillusioned

2) you're happy/elated/overjoyed/bragging/sharing good news/sharing pictures of happy things

3) you're drunk (for either reasons 1 or 2)

4) You're a professional blogger and you HAVE to update regularly.

Okay. So there's four. Math isn't my strong suite. There are third graders who could out math me. Probably even second graders. But this isn't about math! This is about blogging!

Tonight I come to you starving, half dead blog, for a little bit of both reasons 1 and 2. And if you count Nyquil as a type of alcohol, then there are three reasons!

Life is hard. Life is like a road full of little pebbles and rocks and rocky mudslides. Most of the pebbles are things like traffic when you're already running late, or turning in a paper late. Rocks are things like your significant other breaking up with you, or losing your job. And rockslides are usually reserved for deaths or becomings mega famous. you know, extreme and you're caught in the slide, hoping to god you make it out relatively intact and not too screwed up in the head.

Life for me this year has been filled with lots of little pebbles that sometimes feel like rocks for me. Maybe it's cause I'm short and have small feet or something. But either way, this year my feet are already bruised pretty good. In the grand scheme of things, not finishing my book when I had hoped to is a pebble. But it feels like a freaking rock. I know...I know in two years I'm going to be looking back on this entry and laughing at myself and saying, "see, you were worried and bemoaning for nothing!". But right now it doesn't feel like nothing.

I've had good things happen. I've had friends show up to support me who I wouldn't have expected to. I've finally realized how to fix the ending to my book and what was wrong with the last few chapters. I've gotten a good job I love. I've also had changes and shifts on the friend and family front. Things that are pebbles but they're all grouped together and so I step on all of them in rapid succession. Some good, some not so good. Some neutral. But either way, I'm still stepping on pebbles.

When will the road be free of them? Probably never. But I'm hoping the pebbles will stop being so often. I don't like it. Call it the Virgo in me, but I actually *do* appreciate stability. At least stability in a home life. I have one that's rapidly drawing to a close. A rock rather than a pebble. So, I leave for myself, a list of good and bad pebbles, and rocks I can see ahead of me. Rocks that I should approach and not be afraid of, since obviously everything is about how you look at it.

The Good Pebbles:

My writing blog is doing pretty good!

I'm writing and being close to being done!

I have good friends who surprised me by turning out to being good friends.

I found out my cat has excellent taste and likes brie cheese. Huh.

The Bad Pebbles:

My story taking too long to write

Being afraid no one will like my work

Not making as much money as I thought I would (but hey, I'm still happy with my job!)

Upcoming Rocks: 

Moving out

Moving out to a different state altogether

Having to promote my book and hoping to god it takes off. That's a big freaking rock, blog.

Turning 30 in two and a half months (holy $#$($%7)

So there you have it. All the things that have been in my road thus far. Give or take. Hopefully the next month will be filled with nice pebbles! And to those who read this blog at all--thank you. I don't know who you are (drunk OR sober), but I like you! Thanks for bothering to read this once in a while. Sorry I suck at updates.

I blame the government. Because clearly, my lack of follow through is *their* fault.